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I'm really conflicted guys... (vent)

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 31, 2012, 4:17 PM
This has been a problem I have been battling with myself over but it is presenting itself stronger than ever now for reasons.
After a bad experience I had, I have always been afraid of being judged, and I try to give a good impression whenever I can, I'm just terrified of labels, and I guess that is part of my social anxiety, but I'm having an issue with my fursona.
It wasn't as bad when I was just entertaining the warriors fandom, where a fursona is just a common thing, and nobody really thinks twice about it ecapt for the occasional person throwing the word furfag around.
I'm not a furry, and I don't want to be called one. Not that there is anything wrong with being a furry, but it isn't who I am. The whole reason I had a firsona was because all of my friends did, and I want to animate videos with them, but how strange would it be to see a video full of cats and dogs and then there is a person in the corner?
And like I said, in the Warriors fandom it is a common thing, but I'm uploading the casting call for Pokemon mystery dungeon tomorrow, and I'll be putting myself out to a huge new audience, considering Pokemon is one of the most recognized things possibly in the history of ever, and then I would be afraid to make personal videos because suddenly I would have people who weren't used to fursona videos and then I would spiral back down into my pit of being scared and feeling judged negatively and I'm horrible for it but this is a real fear of mine, being judged.
I've been considering keeping my fursona, and what I would do is start drawing myself as a person like I do in real life, and I would use my pokesona for videos with my friends who have fursonas. You haven't seen her, but my pokesona is a Vulpix (I know a lot of you complain about the complexity of my fursonas design, so a Vulpix would be much easier, no?
And I would draw my fursona every now and then, but my human self and pokesona would be my main... things...

I dunno guys. How many of you would hate me if I did this?

  • Mood: Awestruck
  • Listening to: Wyeth
  • Reading: Needs
  • Watching: To be
  • Playing: Given
  • Eating: The finest
  • Drinking: Coffee
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Darksilvercody Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Don't worry Rea, and don't be afraid of change. If you want to change ANYTHING; you have the right to do it. I'm not going to hate you for changing and i'm sure a lot of other people won't either.
I say more power to you; full steam ahead! and always remember. Life is all about change. Don't be afraid of what other people might think, and never; even for a second, think that you can't do something just because someone said you can't. I believe in you and a whole ton of people do too!

we've got your back.
Spoofdty Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
who could hate a person like you? i know i wouldn't, 'cause you're a really good animator!!! :iconhappymeowplz:
m-e-o-w-l-a-c-e Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
....after a bad experience you had
im assuming thats me bUT!!!

go ahead and do whatever you're gonna do
nobody has a say in it.

...Besides there are tons of pokemon-personas and tons of pokesonas and holy crap.
SkittyStrawberries Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Filmographer
No it wasnt you. It was what caused my little stage in which you didnt like my art.
m-e-o-w-l-a-c-e Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...Oh. XD;
mywolfwarrior Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
NO! No sadness Rea. I honestly don't care if you change what you do as long as you love to do it. :3 All those people who judge you are only doing it because they probably don't understand you or don't take the time to see who you are. This is from all your watchers: We love you for you no matter what So don't worry about change because it won't affect how awesome you are and how mush we all love you ^w^
BloodstarSpyro88 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
No! Don't change your fursona! I love it! ...but nobody evarrrr listens to me. :iconapplejackshrugplz: Plus this really isn't my place to tell you what or what not to do, even if you're asking. Do what you want, Rea. You'll always be awesome though, no matter what!
Owl-Feather Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student General Artist
*pats you on the head*

Hey, don't worry :meow: TBH, I haven't talked to you much in a long time, or been following the stuff you've been doing lately ^^' But I have no reason to judge you or think negatively about you. Furry? That's something you decide yourself what you want to be. If you aren't one, then you aren't. I like to draw anthros and neopets and stuff, but I don't consider myself one at all. (I don't have anything against furries in general either, though).

So, don't let it bother you ^_^ Do what you want to do. I certainly hope no one's been bothering you about this, and if they are I'd like to have a word with them >:3
Feline-Kat Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's your life, you can do whatever you want <3
TheVampiresRose Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
honestly its all your choice and trust me I know how you feel about the how being judged thing since I have the same problem :/

but heres my advice do what makes YOU happy dont worry about everyone else or you're never going to be happy in life trust me its not worth trying to please everyone just try and please yourself and remember all those friends you have that like you for YOU :)
jj-wolf Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I would never hate you for anything. Just do what you want to! <3 the only problem is the competition for you and wyeth but that doesn't matter. You have so many supporters that we can all go on a rampage at anyone who does anything mean to you, just say the word! YOU ARE AMAZING! don't forget that U_U
PixelScratch Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Rea its your art and your should do what you want to do with it. It shouldn't matter if just one or two people don't like it and call you a furfag, (their probably secretly furries in real life anyways) What should matter is if your happy with it or not. Don't worry about labels, thats just what your haters are trying to get you to do. And do you really want to do what those jerks say?
Your fan 5 eva, Cassie :heart:
Silver-The-Kitty Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't worry, we don't hate you.
It's your art, you do what you want with it.

Don't care about what other people say, you should do what you love, and let those haters hate. They're just jealous of your amazing art abilities. ^w^

We shall always be here to support you, Reaaa!
EpicEsbreon Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just follow your heart. Dont let others take controle! And remember your true fans!
Owlfeather301 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student General Artist
It would be fiinnneee
Don't worry bout it, if people only like you for your warriors art then well, too bad!
FlareAKACuteFlareon Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student
Be who you think you are; Don't let people to control yourself however they please ^^
So be yourself~
If someones can't accept it, it's their problem
Spiritoom Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude, it's your art. Do whatever makes YOU content. If you spend all your time drawing things just to please others, eventually you'll grow to hate drawing. Lyyke seriously, man. :)
LyraGoldenWarriorCat Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll admit that i'd miss your fursona, but whatever you want to do would be fine. Knowing what you come up with, I'm sure it will be AWESOME.
SlyTheWolf Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Why would any one WANT to hate you?
MeerTheGerman Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
God I know how you feel. at school I have always been the weird one. when someone comes at me ans tries to make fun of how different and strange I am I make them feel like idiots by saying thank you. when I am drawing meer or my other strange creatures, someone will likely come up to me all ' wtf is that', I just say ' art. if you don't understand, don't ask about it.' that's why I love DA. everyone understands art. they don't ask stupid questions, so I don't have to throw it at their face and make them feel like an even bigger idiot. I act like it doesn't bother me, even if it does. that makes them feel worse than they were trying to make me feel. don't worry. just be yourself and don't let people judge you.
StarFaceTheGreat Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Nonononoshh it's okay. ;;A;; *hug*
Majority of the warriors fandom is also part of the pokemon fandom too, so don't be scared about pokemon fans bashing you are your beautiful fursona <33 I don't see why anyone should judge you based on what you do. You make amazing videos and pictures, and you yourself are an amazing person!
When I first met you I was really nervous when I posted my first comment on your channel. I was so amazed at the things you did and made, and when you commented back so nicely to me I just about died at how kind and sweet you were. No one should judge a person like you or put you down like that. ;n;
Don't worry about what all those people say about you though. As long as your true friends and fans really know how you are, what does it matter? ;w;

The issue with your persona (putting human self in this made my sentence sound weird), pokesona, and real fursona is entirely up to you.
I personally think that your fursona really does represent you well, but whatever you pick is best.
( I'd like to see your pokesona in the casting call somewhere. She's the cutest thing omg. ;;A;; )

I'm sorry if any of this came out or sounded weird. I'm not good with writing out how I feel but I really felt like I needed to say something on this. I don't like to see you down. c8>
hallethefox Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
I'd miss your furosa but wouldn't hate you for it! We love your art and thats why were watching what you draw is your choice and yours alone no one should hate you for what you wanna draw
silverowl-bird Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
NO! That would be really cool! Whatever you wanna do. ^^
superninjamonkeys Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Do whatever makes you happy. Other's opinions shouldn't make you so nervous about what you upload. :c
Sparkpup28 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
I don't think you should be afraid of making videos you wanna make.
If people judge you because you don't do everything they want you to do,
then they are not real friends of yours.
Cause they are only asking for one thing of you,
and thats not right.
If they judge you before they get to know you,
then they are no better then a mindless/heartless hateing machine.
You are you, and nothing anyone can say or do should change that, You are great, and what you do right now is perfect for all audience.
Makaruu Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Filmographer
We'd never hate you Rea! (But i personally think the cats and pokemon are better than people but i don't care what ever you choose1 :D )
LightAnimaux Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Whatever subject you want to draw is fine! It's your choice, and your art's awesome no matter what you're drawing c:
BlackCatOfFire Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Honestly, it doesn't matter how judges you or how they do it. If it's online, who cares? You'll never have to see them again, right? Only those who are uncomfortable with themselves put lables on others so that they feel better about being a nobody. Personaly, if I were you, I'd go ahead and do it if people hated it or not. But that's just me and I'm probably a little different seeing as I honestly care what people thin kof me XD That's probably a bad thing, but what ever, right? Besides that, as KainaFlameEye said, we are human and it's natural for us to feel accepted. Don't be afraid to be who you are. Don't stop what you love simply because a few people don't like it. I learned that little tip myself and are still getting used to it. ^^
Tiber5z Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
I prefer human art most of the time anyway. ^-^
Azorium Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
I wouldn't hate you at all! But don't get rid of Ree. I think she can really represent you. And don't worry about being judged, even if it's negative. You have, and will always have, more fans and friends then haters and trolls c:
Windyfeather Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Keep your fursona, it's mostly what you're known for. Your fursona is part of your identity ;o;
You can't loose part of your identity for judging. Don't be afraid of judging, it's nothing bad. It's the first impression, everyone judges. You have time to prove them wrong if they judge you falsely.
Besides, most people find cats adorable.
.....I hope this helped.
KainaFlameEye Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
It's easy to say 'Don't worry what people think' or 'do what you like', but that's not who we are as humans. Socially awkward or not, we do care on some level and it is important for our own well-being to feel accepted.

I know it's not easy appealing to a new audience, but in the end, we have to be true to ourselves. Do what you feel is right and always remember how many friends you have here. You are an amazing person and I think you will be accepted for who you are and not by what you choose to draw yourself as.
MapleSyrupMonster Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
catty2990 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it is a great idea! I know it is easier said then done but draw what you want!
and I understand and share your fear of labels and being judged
Foxxy-Fearyn Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't let the fear of being judged by others change who you are, Rea! I honestly can't say I relate to what you are going through, but I understand what you mean. If you truly want to change your sona, that's great, but don't let it be because it's what you feel forced to do!
No matter where you go there's going to be people who wouldn't be used to what a fursona is. But all of your fans love you becasue of who you are, and your true fans would never judge you. c:
Gaah, Sorry for getting all deep and stuff with you, becasue you don't know me xD asdfghjkl;
dreamybean Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i've totally been in the same situation as you regarding the whole fursona thing. i mean generally i'm okay with people calling me a furfag and slurs like that because i know it's not true and they're just hating. but one time at school i was doodling some animals in my sketchbook and this girl called out in front of the whole art class "are you a FURRY? 'cause no offense but those people are weird." and it completely rattled me because i'd never heard a reference to the furry fandom from people in real life, and even though i'm not a furry and i've never identified as one, it really hit home with me to hear that kind of prejudice against them. it made me feel stupid, and alone. i tend to keep my youtube & DA life a secret. a few friends know about it, but they've hardly ever seen my work. i am so anxious about judgement and people disliking me that i don't really share my art or creativity with anybody outside the internet. Because whenever I've shown IRL friends my videos, they get this really confused face and I just feel sick afterwards hoping they don't think i'm a total weirdo. You know what I mean?

Personally I think you should keep your fursona and also draw your persona & pokesona if you want to, because you can! No one can stop ya. I wouldn't hate you or be upset if you didn't use Rea anymore, cuz that's your choice. But if it's something you love then you shouldn't feel the need to change for strangers. I mean, people are gonna judge you for all sorts of reasons right? Even if you scrap Rea, there's still gonna be those that go "ew!11!!" but you gotta ignore those people cuz they're dumb shits c: And pokemon is essentially little animals running around with super powers so I doubt people will be turned off by the fact you have a fursona. And who knows? People might show up for the Skitty but stay for the Rea!

Leafwingx Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Rea I would never hate you. Do what your heart desires, listen to your heart <3 So what if you wanna draw something different? That's FINE! Dont be afraid to what you really want to do!
SunnPie Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Oh Rea, you don't have to fear about this from us! or at least some of us I do fear sometimes I'm judged for my fursona, how she looks. I'm mostly afraid of people judging me, however, sometimes I ignore titles and just be me. I stay away from people who want me to be this other person. I hang out with friends who have the same interests as me. So Rea, you shouldn't worry about how people judge you, I personally think you are an amazing person. You're fun and silly and I like that. I like being weird. As my friends know, I will be chatting with them on Skype and I'll randomly change the subject to something random. But keep being you Rea, and I support you having a pokesona, I think it's cool. If you ever need someone to talk too, you can come to me if you would like. :)
artimisthehuntress Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your fursona is beautiful. :)
SightlessButterfly Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh Rea!
No one could hate you for this,
A fursona is meant to be who you are. Who you're comfortable in to portray you.

You go do whatever makes you happy, because in a odd way that happiness reflects on your art and makes it so much better.
SleepyRoses Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do whatever you feel is best. Personally I would love to see some Pokemon coming from you, seeing as you're one of my favorite artists and Pokemon is one of my favorite things. And a human or two wouldn't hurt either, branching out is good for teh artz.

As long as you're happy it shouldn't matter what you do ^^ just don't forget us little people who love your fursona when you become the next big Pokemon thing.

Vulpix FTW
death-dog Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm always worried about being judged... But it's your choice for your fursona.
bambous Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh my, I'm actually going through this now myself. I've recently gotten into the My Little Pony fandom, and my audience is complied of Pokémon and Fursona people..which in generality do not mix with ponies. A lot of people that watch me hate them. Before I uploaded my first pony pic, I made a poll asking how people would feel about me uploading that kind of art. Figures, I'd lost about 8 watchers from that, but it's okay. Many of my watchers told me to upload whatever I want, and so I did. It's hard, its heartbreaking to make people upset over it, but this is your account, remember! You upload what you want, and your audience will have to deal with it! Heck, I actually got more watchers because of my change too, c: It'll all be good in the end Rea, remember you're drawing for you!
SkittyStrawberries Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Filmographer
Aw man, the same thing happened to Bani D8 I'm so sorry 8(
bambous Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nah it's okay ^^; It happens. I just hope you're able to get through this pokemon transition. I think you'll be fine though :"D
Gravity-bolt Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't worry about what others think of you,worry about yourself and aim for your goal to be the best you think you can and push your limits.if you do that you can be recognnised as a person who inspire their peers. -by me a young girl
Byakurin Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Pokemon is my main fandom I draw for, but I draw other fandoms as well. It's not like you have to stick to one forever, it gets boring. It's your art, you shouldn't really be coerced by what anyone says. And of course you're not a furry, you're a person, so go ahead and draw yourself too. Besides, the way you draw humans are really cute. c: I'm not into warriors and cats, but I like the art you do of it. Do you...kinda get what I'm saying? Because I don't make much sense sometimes. But like, art is art. Some people only like if another person draws a certain thing, but since you want to keep it balanced, it's all up to you. c:
maangoe Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I could never hate you Rea<33 I respect your choices, no matter what happens, just as long as you're happy, I will be too :3
ilikecakez Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Feline-Kat Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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