Journal Entry: Mon Dec 31, 2012, 4:17 PM
This has been a problem I have been battling with myself over but it is presenting itself stronger than ever now for reasons.
After a bad experience I had, I have always been afraid of being judged, and I try to give a good impression whenever I can, I'm just terrified of labels, and I guess that is part of my social anxiety, but I'm having an issue with my fursona.
It wasn't as bad when I was just entertaining the warriors fandom, where a fursona is just a common thing, and nobody really thinks twice about it ecapt for the occasional person throwing the word furfag around.
I'm not a furry, and I don't want to be called one. Not that there is anything wrong with being a furry, but it isn't who I am. The whole reason I had a firsona was because all of my friends did, and I want to animate videos with them, but how strange would it be to see a video full of cats and dogs and then there is a person in the corner?
And like I said, in the Warriors fandom it is a common thing, but I'm uploading the casting call for Pokemon mystery dungeon tomorrow, and I'll be putting myself out to a huge new audience, considering Pokemon is one of the most recognized things possibly in the history of ever, and then I would be afraid to make personal videos because suddenly I would have people who weren't used to fursona videos and then I would spiral back down into my pit of being scared and feeling judged negatively and I'm horrible for it but this is a real fear of mine, being judged.
I've been considering keeping my fursona, and what I would do is start drawing myself as a person like I do in real life, and I would use my pokesona for videos with my friends who have fursonas. You haven't seen her, but my pokesona is a Vulpix (I know a lot of you complain about the complexity of my fursonas design, so a Vulpix would be much easier, no?
And I would draw my fursona every now and then, but my human self and pokesona would be my main... things...
I dunno guys. How many of you would hate me if I did this?
Listening to: Wyeth
Watching: To be
Eating: The finest